top of the morning to you laddies, my name is jacksepticeye. and welcome to a game called gone in november. it deals with some pretty heavy topics, as you can see right here. it says "this game deals with depression issues and may contain implicit handling of suicide" so if those are sensitive subjects to you, i would say err on the side of caution. before watching this, i don't know how in detail this game gets or anything like that. this is just brand new out on steam, and i clicked on to it. and seemed like it might be interesting, they got some really positive reviews. which made me interested a bit more, and i played some games like this before.
like 'the static speaks my name.' uh.'presentable liberty' not as much but kind of in that same vein. uh 'anxiety attacks' was another one kinda like it. which deals with these like bigger issues. it's not just a game where you get in and dick around or whatever. it seems to deal with some very hard-hitting issues and issues that a lot of people out there deal with on a very day-to-day basis. and a lot of you might actually deal with like depression or suicidal thoughts or stuff like that so... i like playing these games as kind of like i dunno-like trying to see things from a different perspective. cause me personally i-i-i've never had suicidal thoughts and i've never like had clinical depression or anything like that. so i kinda have to see these things vicariously and i like to see
how the games handle them, if they handle them in a tasteful way, or if they handle them in a poor way. or if they actually handle them in a way that people can actually agree upon. like if i play this and any of you out there are dealing with any of the issues in the game you can go into the comments and say like 'oh yea, that is how this feels.' so. i-i- they're usually pretty heavy experiences but at the end of the i'm always kind of glad i've gone through them just so i can open my mind a bit more to the possibilities of the types of things that people go through. so let's press enter to continue. um. okay.'gone in november.'
'field of view.'i'm gonna kick you up to about 95. close enough, cause that's what i usually deal with in games. [reading] to do list, navigating around.okay easy. [reading] memory fragment 4. i can only afford this last batch of medicine just to survive for a few more days. the electric company is going to cut my supply at the end of this month because i couldn't pay them- i couldn't even read that! [reading] doctors have sent me home, with my current condition i can only live for a few more days at best. [reading] i've used up all of my money buying countless amounts of medicine just to discover that they really help nothing.noone has known about it, they don't deserve to know.
[reading] i've commited enough sins already. i wonder what she is doing right now? [reading] since the incident we haven't been seeing each other for so long. [reading] i really miss her. i will do everything just to talk to her just one more time. [reading] maybe she still remembers me, maybe, maybe not. but if she doesn't that's okay. [reading] i will hold her hands first just like the old times. okay, so this dude is clearly dealing with some sort of like disease or condition or something that's.. not getting any better. that is a very big shift in um- mood. am i supposed to go outside?
i don't think so. okay, that music is pumping! and this is a nice apartment! okay am i supposed to turn off the music? and turn on my tv? *music stops* okay, ooh! phone's ringing. albert! buddy! how's it going ?
good to see ya. hello? is this my phone? yeah. *beep* [reading] hello? [reading] yes, it's me. oh, so we're only hearing from this side of the conversation. [reading] i know. yes, i will also consider that option. [reading] yes. [reading] i know, thank you. appreciate your effort, though.
that the doctor? [reading] bastards wants me to buy more pills so they can make as much extra cash as they can out of a dying patient. [reading] they also refuse to provide any other treatment- [reading] any other treatment protocols just because i couldn't afford it. [reading] you know what, doctors are funny. [reading] giving you all types of medicine and telling you this is going to fix your problems. [reading] ...not our problems. [reading] you can hardly have an oth- an other choice than being extremely greedy, taking whatever you can for you own survival,
without giving a flying fuck about the others. that's how the modern world works. wow. okay, that got heavy. [reading] these pills are supposed to help with the pain. did i just take some? okay, oh wait- to do list. [reading] turn off the radio (in the living room). read the medical list (first floor's bedroom). [reading] take care of the cactus (first floor bedroom, kitchen, and backyard). [reading] activate the washing machine (at the balcony).
reading] message her (using the laptop in the working room). [reading] sleep (using the second floor's bedroom). okay. so, turn off the radio, read the medical records, first floor's bedroom, okay. uh, i have to take care of the cacti. *watering sounds* okay! cool. oh, god. please don't tell me this is gonna be like i'm going through it, just like, perfectly normal day, and then all of a sudden, it's just going to go like
the to do list of the day, and then he's gonna kill himself at the end of it, cause i don't know if i'm okay with that. razors. huh, nice bathroom! i've always liked the sort of bathrooms that are all completely tiled floors and there's no like shower block. you just go in, and the water comes straight out and straight onto the floor. cause these are very open, liberating types of shower rooms. or like, in the corner, there's a little drain and everything flows down to there cause i'm so used to having like, standing in the bath or like, going to hotels or something and having like the slide-y door, or whatever, so this is-
this is really cool. i like those types of bathrooms. i took care of you a while ago. what's next? read the medical record in first floor's bedroom. is that you? see, as an irishman, we would say that that's the first floor. and this is like the ground floor. so, like je- in this game, this is the second floor, so it's kinda confusing me.
cacti! [reading] you are everything that is left. are you happy now? okay.. medical record? [reading] name, date of birth, male, female, address, phone- okay, so there's nothing written there. [reading] medical history: acute lymphoblastic leukemia. mental disorders. and this is a relapse of it as well, okay. so, the- the person we're playing as has l- lymphoblastic leukemia. that's tough. m- and mental disorders.
um.. here's all the drugs.. [reading] chemotherapy, opioids, antidepressants, prednisone.. i don't know some of those. treatment was temporarily halted due to the patient's financial status. [reading] begin providing painkillers and antidepressants periodically. that's the thing that sucks, isn't it? that you could be suffering through the worst time of your life, but "sorry, if you don't have any money, we can't treat you."
i mean, i know hospitals need to like, re-coop money to stay open and to be able to hire people and pay them and all that (inaudible) stuff to be able to help them, but surely, in the modern world, we can have something better, some sort of system this- see, this is why some countries do it better than others. it's because their taxes go into stuff like that. instead of funding armies, instead of funding your debt back to other countries that you need to pay. instead of your taxes going back into paying money for stupid mistakes that banks and fucking- i don't know, real estate people have made. and all that kind of shit, no- your taxes should be going into like, education.
uh, sciences. medicine. like, s- schools. different things like that. stuff that actually progresses the human race. instead of stuff that- i don't know, that's a bigger topic, and i'm not as educated enough, as i'd like to be on those types of topics, so i'm not gonna talk about them. but, uh, taxes need to go into better things. if you live in a country that does great things with their taxes, then, lucky you. um, wait, what do we have next? [reading] take care of the cactus, first-floor bedroom, kitchen, 'kay, i got those two, and then there's one in the backyard. which i'm assuming is somewhere up here. [reading] activate the washing machine (at the balcony). message her using the laptop, and sleep. okay.
*door opens* this is a very big, empty apartment. wow. it's really weird having a.. balcony washing machine. this place is spooky. activate washing machine? *washing machine whirring* there we go! we got our clothes on.things are going better. *door closes* um, what's in here?
my batman suits? a plug. what was under the bed? bottles of something, but i don't know what they are. i.. don't speak that language. what does that say? (i dunno, jack, i'm doing the english subs) can anyone translate that? (ngã¹ d㬠- sleeper cell, lã¡t nua - by and by) <-- thanks, google translate what language is that? (google translate says it's vietnamese) i don't know. uh, can i click on any of these? okay. i'll message "her" last, i'll get my deeds done.
so take care of the cactus, first-floor bedroom, okay, so take care of the cactus out here. [reading] i won't be going anywhere if you don't tell me what's going on. are these like conversations he's having in his head? or conversations that like, from the past, okay, cactus. cool. i did it. just hearing the wind is really spooky. there it is again! it looks like.. thai? or the language they speak in thailand.
i just realized how uneducated i am on that, so i don't wanna say anything that's false. um, okay, laptop. did i do everything else? yeah. well, except sleep. dude! sick twirl getting in! ohh, the window's background! *windows sound* (idk what it means, i'm a mac user) news. dun dun dun can't click into that. [reading] welcome to skyde! clever.
[reading] click the button below to login. [reading] logging you in, it should only take a few seconds. okay, start messaging by [reading] clicking on a contact on the left sidebar, then click on the "send" button on the bottom right. "muddymaestro" *click* dun, *double click* dun dun okay, i can't type anything. ren? *click* dun [reading] unidentified- last seen: 121 days ago. *boop*
oo! [reading] message number.. 8992fc4d sent. *multiple clicks* 'kay. *triple click* triple dun they're offline, so i can't message any of the ones that are online, but i can message the person that's offline. dun *tune*
am i just supposed to sleep, now? okay! there's a day complete. [reading] memory fragment #5: the little cactus pot will take your place when you're not here. at least i can have something always by my side to remind me of you. oo this is intriguing. [reading] grab the knife in the kitchen, decide what to do with it. (d: nooo don't do it!!) ohhh, not cool! whaaat the fuck?
what? oh, that looks like a person up there. i'm gonna assume that this is kind of in this person's head? and not actually happening? oh, the eerie silence, i don't like it. this is very "the static speaks my name". can i leave? no. okay, let's go to the kitchen and get the knife.
did this change, i wonder? [reading] another day, another step closer to nihilism. or nihilism. [reading] we plan to meet at the local bus station near my place. [reading] she didn't come. she promised, but she didn't come. (dat bitch- jk) [reading] i tried calling her several times, but no one answered the phone. [reading] worried, i put on the scarf and rushed to the bus stof- stop. but no one was there. aw, poor guy. oh, jesus. what do you say?
you don't say anything- oh, i can click on it. showed up for a second, what do i do? [reading] consumed an excessive amount of pain pills. i was supposed to save them, since it is the very [reading] last batch of medicine i got from the doctors. oh, and she called. midnight. [reading] she said they didn't allow her to go out. [reading] but if she was released, she would never come back. [reading] but that was everything. released from what? is she in the hospital as well? is that where you met?
okay, i can't- grab it. wait. a hand showed up what happened? what did i do? oh god, there's pain pills all over the wall i don't know what's going on. that sounded like a slash sound. i don't like that. decide what to do with it? i tried to grab it! nothing happened. that is fine by me!
can i go back to sleep? please dont tell me the game like glitched or something now. i'm gonna try to go back upstairs actually no i'm gonna try- oh god, please no. [reading] everyone has their own comfort zone which can only be experienced by sleeping. [reading] i too have my own comfort zone [reading] every day i wake up, open my eyes then all of a sudden the reality nightmare kicks in
and abruptly slaps me in the face [reading] i have no other choice but to deal with it [reading] it is horrible [reading] that's why i have the tendency of overdosing on pills like nearly every day [reading] it's strange that i haven't died [reading] yet did what just happen... did what i think just happened happen?
did i go into the kitchen and slit my wrists, and then just walk around until i passed out from blood loss? okay, there's a gun... am i dead? can i click on any of these things? no [reading] hey you! [reading] come over here and help me standing up [reading] but mom said i shouldn't get close to strangers [reading] but you are the only one walking around this park
and i have my leg malformation [reading] but that was exactly the reason crutches were invented [reading] but [reading] jeez! just help me already! [reading] you boys are always so annoying everytime leg malformation? this is spooky so is this like his - his comfort zone area? or is this an actual like afterlife or just a dream? i guess i should just keep playing and stop asking questions.
[reading] how many times i've told you that self harming is a very idiotic thing to do? [reading] it helps me to forget things temporarily [reading] like some kind of medication, you know? *softly* what the fu... there's a bag and a bunch of blood on the ground... very creepy silhouettes okay, let's just keep walking and see what happens [reading] now you are even heavier than before [reading] it's a burden, carrying you on my back on the way to school and elsewhere
[reading] are you mocking my weight? [reading] nope [reading] just want to say that i'm not currently eligible for insurance yet [reading] but i don't want to sit in a wheelchair. it's so frustrating. is this a conversation between him and the girl? like, in the letters that he was messaging? like did they meet in the hospital? i don't like that i'm climbing s- steps
to a bright light ohhhh weeiird [reading] i haven't really settled in the new place yet [reading] everything is just so strange and new [reading] the people, the culture, the traffic, the language. [reading] i just... [reading] i just can't get used to it [reading] anyways [reading] it's just one more week away before schools starts
[reading] i hate you [reading] i hate you for not being right here, right now. [reading] it must be really late there [reading] take care [reading] and don't break the promise, okay? [reading] i'll be here waiting for you so, could these be like, the messages they were sending each other? [reading] it's simple, just do this, this, this, and this, [reading] and you will be fine. trust me.
oh, the- the old thing that everybody tells people with depression to do, it's like: "it's not that bad, just do this and this and you'll be happy" not as simple as everyone thinks kay, let me just... just noodle around for a second i don't think there's anything here, but... i don't want to go too far in the wrong direction okay, no. i'm going back to the...
the actual path [reading] great, [reading] now you're just wasting all these years trapping yourself in an endless cycle of pain [reading] you are selfish [reading] it's not pain. it's pleasure. oh jeez [reading] there is always a choice. [reading] whoever wrote this must have absolutely no idea what he is talking about. [reading] that everyone is different from one another.
[reading] that every perspective is unique and should be respected. [reading] pathetic [reading] there is not always a choice, i just do whatever i can that's... pretty powerful... [reading] it's selfish to stubbornly keep her by my side [reading] but also no difference if i let her go [reading] i'm still selfish either way i feel like this place is very symbolic meandering through life,
not knowing where you're going, just trying to follow a path, but you don't really know where it leads, kind of thing. [reading] five years? [reading] five years is just too overwhelming [reading] too much [reading] especially at this stage of life where the majority of people just want a quick, free ride, without thinking much okay, five years of what?
[reading] isn't people were born to pay their debts? obviously made by someone who natively speaks english, so cut it some slack [paraphrasing] so aren't people born to pay their debts? [reading] you selfish [reading] you only care about yourself [reading] is that what you really want? [reading] here [reading] this is where people usually fall
[reading] it's hard to find a reason [reading] to keep us both here will i f- oh god! i couldn't even go around, i tried [reading] there was a ladder here. no one can predict the future. but you still did. [reading] you booked the ticket already? [reading] yeah, but i had to hide it from my parents [reading] they won't ever let me travel that far [reading] what about you? [reading] i'm not sure
[reading] everybody is working hard to meet the deadline [reading] it's funny how most people only care about making money [reading] but it will be too late before they realize everything has fall into place [reading] aren't we all puppets, and the modern world is what's pulling the strings? [reading] it is tearing us apart [reading] the closer we are to each other, the more lonely we feel. jesus, game. wow. and that like... there- there's something in there that kind of speaks
to me, personally. um, i know a lot of people will feel like especially younger people will feel like, the pressure of the modern world, especially if you're coming out of school, 'cause you have no idea what's going to happen. you don't have- you have no idea what the future is gonna hold, some of you have no idea what you're gonna be doing with your lives, or if anything can happen with your life,
a lot of you are gonna feel like this is the best that's ever gonna happen, and after that it's just gonna be nothing. or maybe you're stuck in a job that you hate but you can't leave because there's just no other options, and that like is the modern world pulling the strings, that the world molds you, to what you are, rather than you being able to mold yourself to what you want in the world that's why i feel very, very, very lucky
to be able to do this to be able to do what i do um, and i don't take it for granted, ever i- i'm- i very much know how absolutely lucky and privileged i am to be able to do what i do, to be in, the current situation that i'm in. because i- i get to be like the master of my own destiny so to speak, but not everybody is so lucky in that.
and i really wish everybody out there could be that. but the reality of the world is that that's not always possible. sometimes... you have to do whatever you can, rather than do whatever you want. can i not pick this up? o-kay... i'm gonna walk backwards because walking forwards... it doesn't look like i'm going anywhere
again, probably very symbolic so are these like uh,a long distance relationship kind of deal? from the sounds of it they sound very young [reading]are you thinking about something? [reading] no, why? [reading] well, [reading] most people can't afford to risk their lives for someone like me [reading] but who knows [reading] there's always a fitting piece for you in this world
[reading] someone who can heal you of your wounds [reading] ignore, and live with your defects [reading] you just have to wait patiently [reading] so chin up. [reading] life's too short to be sad [reading] you have me now. wow [reading] i can't eat sweets, you know that [reading] oh come on,
[reading] i made all of these myself, are you going to let me eat them or what? [reading] you have to be healthy like meeeeee [reading] besides, cuddling a thin person is not that comfortable and warm, if at all i'm still getting that feeling that we might be dead and we're living through limbo going over our memories, kind of thing [reading] are you afraid of heights? [reading] why? [reading] we've gone all the way this far, and i don't want to fall. it's going to hurt. [reading] a lot
yeah, it seems to be going over like the memories of what they had together i don't know if any of this is like based- on personal experiences or if it's a true story of the developer or whatever [reading] memory fragment 2: nothing [reading] i'm afraid with her current condition, there's hardly any treatment methods available the expenses are high, and the success rate is something that can never be relied on if any. [reading] going overseas could help, but again,
treatment expenses are something to be significantly considered [reading] are you one of those cold-blooded ones who isn't afraid of dumping your loved one if something bad got to them? [reading] what were you thinking? [reading] you nuts or what? [reading] you have any idea of how hard [reading] and wasting it is to love a diseased person? [reading] since you're my best friend, let me put this into plain words [reading] stop whatever you're doing. you know what it is, just stop.
[reading] don't burn your youth and your precious time on her you're supposed to enjoy your life. [reading] keep ignoring me and moving forward, you will regret. [reading] you fool just keep moving. [reading] you don't ever listen to me. just for once. oh god, it's like two.. two points of reasoning, talking over each other. take care of the cacti? [reading] are you afraid of falling?
[reading] because it's going to hurt. a lot. [reading] cactuses are harmless, aren't they? [reading] relax, i'm gonna go easy on this it's not like i'm blaming everything on you. [reading] in the end, you can't always choose what to keep. [reading] you can only choose how you let it go. [reading] that's what they usually say? [reading] even though i really love her. [reading] and i'm sure she'd do the same.
[reading] but... [reading] can't you also feel it? [reading] that we are gradually fading away? [reading] the distance... [reading] i'm running out of patience [reading] i just want to be with you right now. *sighs* so it is kind of a long distance thing. um, relationship, but one of them is...
uh, has a disease sounds like it's the- the other person in this, not the person you're playing as. and it's like you coming to terms with their disease and trying to deal with it and you can't always choose what you get to keep because they might die from this disease, but you cant choose how you let it go, so do you let them go through death?
or do you let them go now, and let them deal with it their own way, for them? big topic... [reading] look at these people. [reading] they're all clueless about you and your problems [reading] like they care [reading] it's not their business anyway [reading] time. please don't take her away
[reading] "a piece of cake," they said."if i were you," they said. it's always easier for them to judge people from their perspective and yet they still chime in with their opinions like they know everything. [reading] nobody want's me. nobody want's broken things. [reading] and here you are, standing between a mess created by people's' ignorance [reading] and your negativism. [reading] what do you mean? [reading] you were diagnosed with hiv? [reading] no. that's not the reason.
[reading] they're lying aren't you? oh you're lying, aren't you? [reading] you're planning to dump me. [reading] you disgusting monster. [reading] nobody can predict the future. woah, that's weird... oh god, this looks like the place harry potter died. spoilers, sorry. *loud car horn* *tires screeching, car crash sound*
holy fuck! *coughing* i was like mid-swallow jesus oh that scared me. [reading] why are you still here? it's not your fault, it's not my fault, it's not their fault. [reading] sorry, but even i can't reverse time. [reading] can you see what you've done?
should i pay my debts? everything's gonna be alright. there's no good, nor evil. just you and your choices. even when you die or live it matters not. you'll have to pay the price either way. oh god... [reading] finish the film director. you know you can't release an unfinished film to the public.
oh jesus... so, i either have to kill myself, or move on. so is this... okay, i'm kind of confused about the chronological timing of everything. maybe you guys can under- or like have it better in your heads like watching it as a let's play instead of trying to play it um, you can usually pick up on things a bit easier that way, but
is he going through this, right now? and like, he has leukemia or whatever, and he's either thinking about killing himself or trying to go on with it or did he lose somebody that had the disease, and he doesn't know if he can go on right now, so he wants to kill himself or move on? i don't know, i'm kind of confused. umm. obviously i want to move on instead of kill myself,
but i want to know what both scenarios lead to i mean this one probably just leads to the end of the game, but i want to see what move on leads to. um, hello? i can't click it. okay, this is kind of broken. something's showing up there, but not here. okay, the hand is only showing up here so... oh god which door did i open?!?
[reading] i've been dreaming a lot lately in which i stab myself and cut my body parts into peices until i bleed to death i quit. wha? hello? okay, downstairs, downstairs. i have no idea which door i went through. i'm coming i'm coming i'm coming, jeez. *gurgly stabbing sound* *another stab, deeper this time*
what?! *a third stab* *painful groaning noise* *knife clattering to floor* what just happened? [reading] a sequence of short memory fragments of a dying man. i don't know what happened? because i don't know which door i went through. maybe that was the point, you go through the middle of the doors and you just see-
you don't know which choice you've picked. i don't know. that was weeiirrd. again, i'm not sure about the chronological order of everything, or really in fact what the hell was going on, maybe that was the point, it wasn't supposed to make any like, sequential sense. so to speak. but it did bring up a lot of good points in it. about like, what it's like to go through these things, especially the one where it's like people telling you how to be. umm, 'cause... *sighs*
when you're going through different scenarios in life, whether it be the extremes of what this was showing, or anything at all, uh, people like to try and tell you how to live your own life. and sometimes they mean the absolute best for you, sometimes it's friends or family, who want to tell you like, what they think is best for you. sometimes they're butting in when they shouldn't be, but sometimes they actually just
have some solid reasoning for doing it, and other times, it's just people who project. or try to tell you how to live your life because of what they think. or they project some sort of image about you, onto you and then they're like "no you should do this" and try to like, live a certain aspect of their life through you or whatever, whatever reasons they have for telling you how to do it, but as it showed in the game that, they don't know everything. even the people who have your best interests at heart,
they don't know everyting. they don't know everything you're going through so them telling you how to live things is much easier said than done. like the people who talk to depressive people and they're like: "just stop being sad. like, just go out and be with your friends, just go out and take a walk." it's like that's not always gonna help. sometimes they mean it in the best way possible, like i feel for you, i don't know how else to... express this, i don't know how else to help, but, like i'm trying my best, and sometimes people misstep so you can't really blame them but at the same time, sometimes all people want to do is be listened to.
sometimes all people want to do is just be in the same room as somebody else, so they're not alone, sort of thing. they don't always need a quick fix solution. they don't always need like "oh, do this, do that" sort of thing. um. but yeah, a lot of topics going on there. um, a lot of stuff that i am not qualified to talk about a lot of stuff that i don't have first hand experience with either um, so i kind of... i don't know it always feels kind of... misguided of me or it always feels... what's the word i'm looking for...
i- i don't know, it always feels inappropriate of me to be giving advice on these types of things. like people message me very frequently, and ask me like "how do you- how should i deal with depression," and "how should i deal with being sad all the time," "how do i become more happy?" "how do i deal with suicidal thoughts?" those types of things. i- i never know whether some people are actually serious, whether other people just say it because they want attention, and that's really the fine line in this sort of position because
i don't want to... i don't wanna... like act upon it in a certainway, like "oh this person is just faking this because they want me to answer them," kind of thing. they should always be treated with seriousness, they should always be treated with like, absolute seriousness, that maybe this person actually is going through this and i don't want to make fun of this. i don't wanna like say "you're just looking for attention" when really they're not, or anything like that. but... i don't know all i can say is that if you are going through stuff like this, if you are going through depression, if you are sad all the time, you wake up in the mornings and you just don't want to do anything, if you just-
cause that's what it is. a lot of people say depression is feeling sad but the people who are actually depressed, a lot of them will say "no, depression is feeling nothing," that, like, in either end of the spectrum, that when something sad happens, you don't feel sad when something extremely positive happens, or something that you should feel happy for happens, you don't feel happy either, and that's the thing, like, they know they should feel happy, but they're not feeling happy and that's the kind of thing, and it gets inside your head then, that you don't know what's going on again, this is all from anecdotal experience, it's all from hearsay it's all from listening and reading up upon it, and
trying to learn as much as i can to try and help people who maybe are going through these things. um. again, i'm not an authority on these types of things, so anything i say should not be taken as fact it should be taken as just my thoughts, my experiences on these things, my best intentions on these things. they should not be taken as 'absolute 100% this is what you should do' kind of thing, but just know that if you are going through these kinds of things that there are people out there who can help a lot of people who are sad, or depressed, or just feel like they're at the end of their tether feel like there's absolutely nobody out there.
there always is. there's always somebody that you can go to, whether it be an organization, or family, or friends... umm. some people out there might not have any friends, some people out there might not have a family who will listen to these types of things, or think "ah, you're just sad. you'll be fine." and they don't listen to them, but, just- just know, please think before you do anything, please think about the people in your life, please think about what could be. um, and don't make any rash decisions about anything. uhh. because a lot of stuff can happen in the moment, a lot of stuff can happen in just that quick blink of an eye that quick just, point of reasoning, and then you do something that you can't ever take back.
and, usually it's in those moments okay it's gonna get heavy for a minute, but i did read a reddit thread one time about people who tried to commit suicide, and didn't, who failed, or who decided against it, and it was always a case of, a very recurring theme in them was people saying "i tried to hang myself" or something, "i tried to take pills" and then "my body fought through it". "i passed out, woke up again, and my body was like trying to pull the rope" or something, i don't know this is very, it's getting very specific, because these are very broad scenarios, but these were just the things that i was reading, like, the body's will to live is incredibly strong.
and the people who came out of these things were like most of them said "i am so glad i did not go through with that." "i'm so glad that my body fought for me when my brain, or just personality couldn't" umm and i know that this is stuff that people aren't like *nervous laugh* used to seeing on this type of channel like i've done stuff like this before, and i don't want it to seem like
a thing where i think i know what i'm talking about or pandering to people or whatever. it's just it's it's stuff that you read a lot, and it's stuff that because of doing youtube i've heard a lot of people talk about it, i get a lot of messages about it, so i want to try and like, learn, or grow, understand these things, like, as a person that's not gone through them so maybe i can help people. i don't know. umm. again, it got very serious all of a sudden.
um, but just, just know that anything can happen in the moment, and all it takes is a slight moment of clarity to pull you out of something that could be absolutely disatrous um and i don't want to say that everyone who's going through depression is suicidal because that's not the case either but, there are people out there who are going through the same thing as you, you might think that you're absolutely alone, and that nobody will understand what you're going through, but there's always somebody going through the same stuff as you
cause as i've heard people say, we're all the same person at the end of the day. we're all human, we're all the same sort of basic chemistry as each other so any sort of- any sort of like prism of emotions, prism of things that you can go through, is the exact same as the amount of prisms that another person can go through, they're just maybe not going through it right now like everyone has the capability of going through the same stuff as each other so if you're going through absolute sadness, you definitely, you 100% have the capability of turning that around and going through absolute joy all it takes is reaching out to some people every now and then, or maybe... i don't know, it's again, it's not always as easy as going "oh, reach out to people," i'm doing what the game was saying
and it's not always that easy and i apologize for that, but i-i-i don't know. i-i have good intentions with what i say but, again, i don't really i-i it's misguided because i'm living all of this through other people and, again i haven't gone through it myself so i'm curious how this game represented some things. like does it get to the extreme where, you just like- all logic goes out the window and it feels like you're living in a dream, constantly? sort of thing? do your dreams actually get that bad? so i-i'm curious. and i-i want this community to be a place... i know a lot of videos i do is like, bombastic, yelling, swearing,
lots of like, murder and stuff going on in games and all that, and it's all very silly at times but i do like to bring it back to a point with these types of games cause i have played a lot of these games in the past and i don't want to try and pigeonhole myself into all that yelling and everything where i feel like i can't do these types of things anymore or feel like i can open up or feel like, i can open up and outlet or a medium for you so i like this to be still be a community based thing the other silly stuff and all the yelling is there for the positive side this is still for the positive side, but it's also opening up it's not just trying to blindside the sheer pain and suffering that some people can go through
with just like... it's like saying "oh you're feeling sad? hey everyone send them cat pictures" kind of thing, its more a case of like, yes people are suffering, and this is a community where you can come and open up and be nice to each other, and maybe you'll find someone else in the community who's going through similar things that can help you through it. so i don't know. this has gone on like really really long, and i'm talking a lot, i-i apologize for that as well but, i don't want to see anybody in the comments, because there's a lot of people who come for like the happy wheels sort of stuff or they come for, like the silly stuff, and then when anybody tries to open up about this they shit all over them like "this isn't the jacksepticeye i'm used to". so i don't want to see any sort of any of that shit because i do not condone that shit because... i'm much more than just that loud, yelling crazy guy all the time
and a lot of you who appreciate these kind of play-throughs know that about me so i don't want to see any sort of like, if somebody comes into the comments, and they have an emotional story to tell, i don't want to see anybody belittle them for that. i do not condone that whatsoever, if you bully someone who's going through a tough time just because you think they're an attention seeker, you do not belong in this community. you are not part of this community and i do not want to be friends with you and you probably think "well who cares i don't need to be friends with you i can still watch the videos and say whatever i want" whatever. be an asshole if you want to be but there are people out there who are suffering and who want to talk to each other through these types of things.
but anyway i'm gonna leave it here because i can talk all day about this sort of stuff i would absolutely love to know your thoughts about these types of games or this one in particular, or at least about what happened. so, i- i- i'm very much open to the comments on this one and i want to go through them and read them as best i can, so *clap clap* awesome. i do like doing these types of games even though they're a bit, sadder? and they open up- but they open up a better dialogue, they open up a better discussion i think. and it really gets people talking, it really bonds people together. and it shows a more human side to the channel
and this community. so anyway, thank you guys so much for watching this, if you liked it, punch that like button in the face like a boss and high fives all around *whupssh* but thank you guys and i will see all you dudes, in the next video!
i don't know if i got any points across at the end there or if i was just rambling. but hopefully hopefully at least it made you feel less alone, so to speak that you watch this and you feel like somebody was just there talking to you because i know that's all that some people need, so thank you for watching.
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